improving.

'Addicted to a certain kind of sadness...'

It's a quote from a song and it's definitely an interesting phrase to think about.

People tend to flock to others that give them a certain emotion. If you are in a sad place, you tend to be around others that are in a similar state because let's face it-being around happy people when you are sad makes you a little resentful of their happiness-not because of the person, but because you want to be that happy and you just aren't ready to get there yet.

On the other end, when you are sad but ready to be happy, that's when being around happy people can help because then it rubs off on your emotions.

I feel like that is happening to me now. I was in a sad place and being around happy people was hard even though I could cover up the sadness most of the time. But now, I am ready to be happy, I want to be happy, so I want to be around happiness.

I want to be around people that will consistently encourage and push me to be the person I want to be.

The sadness is still there, it's not easy to completely shake it off, but I am fighting to break the surface of the drowning sea I have been struggling in.

Focusing on myself and the life I want has been uplifting-yes it has been a struggle, but I am learning who I am again. I am enjoying my own company again, as well as the company of others that bring out my personality-that enjoy me for me.

I have hidden parts of myself for too long. I want to break free of my darkness and live again. What greater place to come to this conclusion than London!!

(I wrote this in a notebook on the bus-when inspiration comes, you go with it and it felt great to feel inspired outside of my bubble in my room!)